WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - The United States Senate today unveiled details of its health care plan, tentatively called CompromiseCareTM:
-- Under CompromiseCareTM, people with no coverage will be allowed to keep their current plan.
-- Medicare will be extended to 55-year-olds as soon as they turn 65.
-- You will have access to cheap Canadian drugs if you live in Canada.
-- States whose names contain vowels will be allowed to opt out of the plan.
-- You get to choose which doctor you cannot afford to see.
-- You will not have to be pre-certified to qualify for cremation.
-- A patient will be considered "pre-existing" if he or she already exists.
-- You'll be free to choose between medications and heating fuel.
-- Patients can access quality health care if they can prove their name is "Lieberman."
-- You will have access to natural remedies, such as death. More here.
From the Borowitz Report. (Why have I never been to this site before?)